Sucks to be me.

So, I got the idea to work on my blog more from the show 'awkward.' I really love that show. It describes my life alot. AKA, my life is awkward. School starts next tuesday, and I've been doing alot to prepare. My mom already bought all my school supplies, I got a new school bag, new school clothes, etc. I got my hair trimmed today by my mom's friend Danica, and my eyebrows were waxed on monday. So everything is ready for junior year class of 2013! WOOHOO!

No.

Not "woohoo". Why should be excited for school? School is by no means exciting. I'm just one of those girls. I'm not exactly invisble, but I'm not exactly seen. When I walk into class everyone says hello, when class is over everyone tell me goodbye. I have a good handful of friends at lunch to sit with, a few friends to talk to in class. So, am I satisfied? No.

Because these people I call my friends, are not my friends. They never have been. You see, I never had a best friend. Maybe when I was a little kid, but not a real one. Never met another girl, or even a boy I could tell litterally everything to. My cousin maybe, but I want someone outside my family. Someone who goes to the same school. Someone who understands me.

But I have yet to find that person, and I doubt that will happen. Same with guys, I have never had a real relationship. I have talked to several guys, but never had a real one. I wonder what it's like. My sister gets all the guys, obviously. She even takes the ones I like away and doesn't even care how I feel.

That's another story though.

It makes me even more low self-esteem and unconfident. Which kind of sucks. At my school, if every word that comes out of your mouth isn't the F-bomb, or if you don't smoke (drugs or cigs), if you don't drink, your not considered 'cool.' Which ticks me off. What is 'cool' anyway? In my opinion there is no such thing. You can be popular, which in my book means alot of people know who you are. But how does that make you pretty, stuck-up, snobby?

Whatever.

Counting down the days till school, wish my luck. I'm thinking of wearing a dress, or is that too dressy or trying to hard? Doesn't matter anyway, won't change anyone's opionions of me.

Until then,

xo Lauren.