The awkward season ended. NOOOOOO. That was my only happiness in life. Well, that and tumblr. Shet.
Okay, on with my life in the past few days. I'm going to put this one way, and one way only: I hate my life. And myself. I'm going to be honest here, I have never really liked myself. I have low self-esteem, I think I'm ugly as a mofo, and I just hate my life. My parents expect me to be perfect, my friends are not even really my friends, I don't have a bf, and my brother and sister never have my back. Which concludes why my life sucks. Seriously.
I am so tired of hiding in a shell, and not letting myself out there. Like home-coming for instance. I would love to dance at homecoming but I'm so concerned what other people are going to think of me I keep myself from having fun. and I make myself sick. I was bullied in middle school so that's why i am so tramatized from those experiences.
But I don't care anymore. I'm tired of living my life like this. I feel like I am going to become a catlady and die alone. :( My mom says I will probably never get married or have children because I am "..so effing selfish."
Okay, let me get this straight. If I was selfish, I would get everything I want my way. But I have never had anything my way before. And i'm selfish because I "complained that the sun was in my eyes." I was TELLING HER the sun was in my eyes, not COMPLAINING. Ugh. People. And now she is mad at me and doesn't want to walk to me. And my friend T is wanting to come over today so hopefully my mom won't be mad the whole day. Oh, and I went on a long walk today! It finally feels like fall now! YAY! :)
Until then my lovely readers,
Lauren.
Ps. Happy October <3
