it's been awhile.

Hello my lovely readers,
it has been quite some time since I last posted, but school has made me busy and friends. I have TONS of homework now and my friend comes over alot afterschool. Lately, school has made me really sick of people. Like everyone seems so fake to me, it just URKS my nerves. I feel like I'm becomming forgotten, and it's a sickening feeling. I'm always so used just for other people's personal selfishness. It makes me sick - like I said.
I feel so alone in school most of the time, I feel like such a loser sometimes. And I'm so AWKWARD. I always end up making everything awkward...it really sucks. And I can't even get a guy in this messed up, corrupted school. I mean, most of them are ignorant anyway and hardly any of them are cute but still. It makes me feel worthless at times.
It doesn't matter because I think i'm ugly. At first I talked myself out of saying that about myself, and alot of my close friends don't think so.... but that's their job to tell me that! They are not going to tell me I'm really ugly. I only know this is true because my sister said alot of her friends come up to her in school and say I look like I have down syndrome. No offense to the people with this condition, but technically they think I'm slow and ugly. I by NO means are saying that people with this issue are ugly, but the people saying this to me and intending this obviously. Okay, I'm getting really technical but whatever.
They also say that I look high half the time. Let me get this straight - I have never done drugs, nor will I ever.. I hope. Most of the time, I am quiet and to myself and I don't act like a high person. So why do people think I'm high? IGNORANT PEOPLE. That's why.
If your ugly on the inside then your ugly on the outside. And I'm sorry, I know people say you only say that if your ugly but you know it's true. I immediatly find someone very unattractive if they are rude and disrespectful.
School again tomarrow... Will I survive?

Until then my lovely readers,
Lauren.